Thursday, October 18, 2007


Ok, I get a lot of questions about the baby...a lot. I am posting this segment for those of you who want to ask a question and are afraid of offending me. I am HAPPY TO ANSWER ANY ONES QUESTION. I do not get offended easily, and I actually appreciate it when people don't assume things and would actually like to know the truth. No question is dumb! The most common questions are:

How do you explain this to Brinley? Well, we tell her the truth, she understands as much as a 4 year old would. She asks the same questions over and over, but she knows that the baby is going to live with Heavenly Father and Grandma Esther. She has seen the casket and I have taken her to visit grave sites of friends children. She tells people that the baby is sick. She gives the baby lots of loves and likes to draw pictures of the baby. We involve her in as much as possible. She has felt the baby move and thinks it's really cool. She will not be there for the delivery, but we will have her there to see the baby and hold the baby, if she wants to.

How do you handle everything so well? I don't... I cry a lot and there are days when I really don't feel like leaving the house, but, I still have a family to cook for, a house to clean, a daughter to take to school every morning, etc. Those are the things that get me by each day. I try to do a lot with my Brinley, crafts, baking, going to parks, games, whatever. I try to do things that we would like to do with the baby. That is why you see a lot of photos of my tummy.

I have no idea what to say to you...I can't imagine what you are going through. I get this a lot. And we appreciate all of the prayers and thoughts from everyone. I know that there are those that read my blog, and have no idea what to comment about certain postings. I know my parents get emails about us because you don't know what to say. That is okay. I wouldn't know what to say either. We are just happy to have such a big support system. So, thank you.

What are Polycystic Kidneys? This is when the kidneys have many cysts growing on them. It isn't something that can be prevented and starts really early on in development. Our baby's kidney's never did function, so they call it Potter's Sequence. Because of this, when it's time for the baby to start producing amniotic fluid, it can't. Without functioning kidneys, your body doesn't produce urine. Without amniotic fluid, the baby doesn't "breathe" in the fluid to mature the lungs. So, our baby's lungs are not developed. Baby's with this disease usually have heart problems also, like ours. There is no chance of survival and live only a few minutes, at most, outside the womb. Right now, the placenta is doing all the work that the baby should be doing. If this is a genetic disorder, then our chances are 1 in 4 of it happening again.

Can you feel the baby move? Yes...every movement. As I get farther along, the baby doesn't have as much room to move. Our baby is breech and I know where all the parts are. There is an arm right above the baby's head and I feel that the most. The baby kicks my bladder a lot too.

Will you deliver normally? As normal as a breech delivery goes. We decided against a C-section. That is not something to look forward to healing from on top of everything else. I want to be able to spend as much time with the baby as we can. A C-section will limit that for me.

Is it a boy or a girl and what is the baby's name? We have no idea what gender the baby is. We have had MANY ultrasounds and because of the lack of amniotic fluid, it has been too hard to tell. Now that the baby is breech the legs are close together and we, more that likely, won't find out until delivery. The names we have picked out are: Boy, Harrison Anthon Kunz. He would be named after my oldest brother, Harris Brian Erickson, and Matt's Grandfather, Anthon Ulrich Kunz. If it is a Girl: Olivia Kamille Kunz. She would be named after, Olivia, the pig from a children's book (Brinley's middle name, Madeline, was after the children's book), and Kami Marie Erickson, after my youngest sister.

Those are the questions I can think of right now, and as I remember which other ones we are constantly asked, I will post them.
We love you all and are so thankful for the support of our family and friends!


Ang said...

Matt & Arah (& Brinley too)-
I know that our contact level has lessened since Cohort 20 ended our journey together. None the less, I just want you all to know that my heart goes out to you. While I can only imagine how trying this has been for you, the strength and unity that you show as a family is remarkable. May you find comfort and peace in one another always. I'll be praying for, and thinking of you.

Raquel Ruggles said...

Thank you for willingness to share so much with us. We love you guys and pray for you often. If there is anything that we can do for you and your sweet family, please let us know. We love you.

The Barkers said...

To answer your question, yes I was at Betsie's baby shower. She introduced me to the church about the time that you and Matt were dating, if that jogs your memory at all. Anyway, thanks for the post! You answered all of my questions, anyway. :o)

Rocia said...

Thank you for the info. Arah, as hard as it was to write it, thank you. I pray you will have as much time with your little one as possible. What an angel.

Kaisa Bailey said...

You are so awesome. I don't know how you find the strength to be such an awesome mom to Brinley during this. What a good way to deal with your pain. She is so adorable and I'm sure she will realize someday what kind of time this is for you and Matt. All she knows now is that she has the best parents in the world and a sibling that although she won't be raised with she can see again. We love you.