Tuesday, November 10, 2009


My sweet little Olivia,
Today you should be celebrating your 2nd birthday.
You are missed.
You are a part of our lives every single day.
Two years have gone by so fast. I can't believe its been that long. I sat here tonight looking through all of her photos. I cried...and even smiled a little. She was such a tiny little thing. I can't believe how much of Sarah I see in Olivia. I know Sarah knows her. I won't let her forget, either. Brinley is good to remind us. As much as I ache to hold and cuddle my sweet baby, I go would go through it all again. This beautiful girl has brought some great blessings into our life, and others. She is an amazing little girl. There are so very many things that I would have never had the chance to do or experience if it wasn't for Olivia. I believe that no matter how hard the trials we face, it's all about the attitude we have going through them. Some things we just don't have contol over. I'm not sure what the day has planned for us. I can't really say we are going to do anything, but there is no school and so I am sure for Brinley's sake, something will be done. We will be visiting her grave and even leaving a treat for her woodlawn friends...that I know... and I'm pretty sure that there will also be some random acts of kindness around Spokane too.
I wish this was a happy birthday. Do you call it a sad birthday? I'm not really sure what to call it. I hate calling it an anniversary...the anniversary fo her life and death? I guess it's her rememberance day.

I love you Olivia! I miss you and wish you were apart of this crazy life we lead.

I try to imagine you thrown into the mix of things. A 2 year old and a 1 year old...wow, I'm not sure what to think about that. I think that you and Sarah would have grown up to be the best of friends, and have the fights like my sister, Julie, and I used to.

Sarah turns 1

My baby turned 1 on Sunday.
I am a blog slacker and should have posted a happy birthday tribute on Sunday, but no...So here is to my sweet little busy bee, who loves her momma more than anyone else and at times can get really, really draining.
Sarah, you have been a joy this past year. A HUGE healing tool for me after losing Olivia, and I believe you two would have looked so much alike.
You have the wildest hair that hangs down in your face and you love to pull out the barretts we put in it. You are starting to figure out how to pull out the ponytail holders (and always when I have you in the high chair with something really messy).
You have put a smile on my face every single day. You say the cutest "oh oh" and "wow". You LOVE baby dolls and think they are funny when you poke their eyes. Now you have a stroller to push them around in...and for Brinley to push you around in, which you think is a thrill.
You didn't even know it was your birthday, but you loved it when we sang to you and thought it was fun ripping off wrapping paper. You were excited about opening the birthday card from Grandma and Grandpa Kunz. You loved your jammies that Aunt Julie got you and you wrapped yourself in them as soon as the paper came off. The dress Grama Lana and Papa Jim bought you is adorable and you thought so too ( for another post).
You loved the cake and had no problem figuring out what to do with it.
We love you little Sarah Mae. We are so happy that you are a part of our little family. Brinley thinks your the best thing in the world and loves it when you wake her up with a cuddle (and sometimes a pat on the head) every morning before school.
Hope you had a fun 1st birthday.