Polar Express

This morning I went to Breakfast with Santa all by myself. Brinley spent the night at Cody's and since I signed up to help, I went. I was supposed to have Brinley with me to sing Christmas carols to the people we dropped fruit baskets off to, but since I don't sing, and definitely not by myself, they just got a smile and a 'Merry Christmas'...well, Matt's mom was on my list and I made up some words to a Christmas song for her. She loved the fruit basket, that's all that really mattered.

Tonight we went to my Mom's ward Christmas party. It was themed around the Polar Express, a favorite movie at our house (Brinley would watch it all year if I let her, I hide it January 1). It was so cute and really fun. All the children wore their pj's, except Brinley, she wore a pair of Cody's. So here you go... Brinley and Cody got there ticket to ride.
Here comes the Polar Express. There was a lot of work put into making this train. He came through and had the children follow him into a room where the kids did crafts.
Cody making a bell necklace.

While the kids were in the other room, the adults split into groups and dressed one of their team members as a Christmas tree. It looked like a lot of fun, I was busy taking pictures and didn't help. My Mom's group won.

Santa came to visit...Suprise, it was Uncle Chris, Matt's brother. I had no idea. He did a great job, but Brinley knew who he was. I think he may have told her.

While being singing 'stars', I caught Cody digging for something special.

After the program there was a hot cocoa bar and dessert table.

It was really a lot of fun.

The Creche Exhibit

First off, for those of you that don't know what a Creche is, it's a nativity scene.

Well, every year for the past few years, my Mom's stake puts on a Creche Exhibit. This year there were over 600 of these nativity scenes from all over the world. The missionaries stand outside the Stake Center and sing Christmas carols, 'The Nativity' is played every half hour or so and they have some sort of musical preformance every night for a week. It is really neat to see. I took pictures of some of my favorites... This one is from Russia. It is one of those nesting egg things. I know that there is a name for them, but I can't remember what it is.
I thought this one was really beautiful.

This one is very...unique and interesting...and homemade.

This was one of the smallest. It is in a walnut shell.

This was the smallest. I am not sure what it is made from, but it is about the size of a quarter.

I loved this. I think I will make one with Brinley. Fun FHE activity or if your in the Primary, good idea for next year if you start saving toilet paper rolls now.

This was just so cute...three wise pigs. I want to take these home.

Today was the last day for it, but I recommend going next year. Very cool!

what happened to dinner?

Okay, the only reason I am posting this is because it literally has been over a month since I actually made dinner. Is that sad or what...
Matt usually works late or is at school, so it's just me and Brinley most of the time, and since my appetite has practically disappeared, I just have Brinley to feed. Lucky for me, she is not a picky eater and since Matt's parents live downstairs, she usually gets fed by them (gee, that makes me sound like a horrible mother). I finally made a dinner this week (yeah), nothing fancy, but one of Brinley's favorites...A grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup. I've decided that I am going to try to be better about actually cooking something for her. It's just really hard to make something when nothing sounds good to eat.

laundry baskets

This picture brought back a lot of memories of my childhood playing in laundry baskets. We used to use them as cars or a cage or slide down the stairs in one. Good times.
Brinley and Cody sat in there through a whole Christmas movie, I thought my legs were going to fall asleep just looking at them.

Support Group

Tuesday night I went to Support Group for those who lost an infant. I used to call it Grief counseling, but it's not counseling. We are there to support each other and talk about whatever we want to. Everyone there understands every situation you face, whether it's dealing with strangers or trying to grieve and yet being a parent at the same time.

My Mom came with me this time, she cried for both of us. I was amazed at myself, I didn't cry...total shocker. Maybe it was just the day, I don't know. I asked my Mom if it had helped at all, she said that it was a big relief for her to be able to talk to other Grandmothers and they understood what she was dealing with. I forget sometimes that not only is my Mom trying to be my support but she is grieving for me as well as her grand daughter. I guess everyone is, but when your my Mom...she never has been one to think about herself and is always trying to please everyone else and make sure that her family is happy.

My Mom grew up thinking that she'll have kids, they'll have kids...no problem. she had never experienced a loss. Then I came along and with 5 miscarriages and a death of a child later, my sweet little Mother has no idea what to do for me. If you haven't experienced it youreslf, then you have no idea of knowing, you can always guess, but you'll never truely know. So, she tells me that I am her support, and that I get her through her rough days. I couldn't have a more wonderful Mother, she's a goofball and a little scatter brained, but I love her. If you know my Mom, then you know why I am such a nut case.

Game Night

We love palying games! Last Saturday we had my sister, Julie, and her husband, Merv, over for a good game of Risk. I have only played this game twice in my life. It's worse than Monopoly...it goes forever. We didn't get a chance to finish though, the kids were getting a little bored with us, and tired. Good times...
So Julie, Merv are you up for another game night?

What are your favorite "bored" games?

3 weeks

Three weeks ago today, my sweet Olivia was born...today, Dec. 2nd, was my official due date.
It has been one of my hardest days emotionally. I realize how fast time goes by and how much I miss my baby. There is a constant "how big would she be"..."what would her cry sound like"...etc.
So, throughout my day, I reminisced about our day at the hospital...remembering her smell, the feel of her soft skin, her funny little smooshed nose, her sweet little face, giving her a bath and dressing her. I think about these things everyday, but today seemed especially symbolic...i guess.
Saturday morning Brinley had gotten into bed with us. I woke up to my little family, Brinley and Matt laughing and playing games. The first thought that came to my mind was that my little Olivia wasn't here with us to just...be together.
I know that I am just going to have days like this and I will burst into tears at any given time (like right now) and that is all part of the process. It doesn't help that my hormones are a little out of whack either.
Having this blog has been a big help to my grieving. I am able to relieve a lot of emotion, rather than try to talk to someone through a gallon of tears. I thank those of you who read it, because you know what I am going through without me having to tell explain myself everytime I see you. It also gives you an opportunity to experience a little of my life in case you ever have to experience it yourselves or know another person who may have to go through this. Did that make any sense?
I feel so much better but my eyes and head hurt, so I am going to bed now. Goodnight.

Christmas Card Holder

My sister Julie and I are really clever, aren't we. I have been asked about how to make the card holder and where do i put it... here you go:

Yardstick: that doesn't have the name of a store written across it. Walmart has these in the sewing section for $1.72.

Paint: different colors of red and green. i also used a cream color too.

clothes pins: you can buy these at Walmart 50 for less than a $1. you will need 17-18 per yardstick.

Ribbon: We have a ton of ribbon...we scrapbook, but you can find it on sale right now just about everywhere. We used reds and greens and a few black and white. use as much as you like.

paper plate

fast drying tacky craft glue

Directions:

take a paper plate and clip all if your clothes pins to it. paint them and leave them on the plate to dry. you may need to paint a couple of coats on each.

when those are dry, glue them to the yardstick so that every other one faces the opposite direction every two inches. I recommend letting it dry for just a few minutes. Then, tie ribbon to the yardstick.

You have yourself a Christmas card holder.

I put it on the wall, hanging vertically, but you could go horizontally too.

Button Trees

I have been asked by quite a few people about the "adorable button trees". So here are the directions on how to make them:

Michaels has the best selection of foam cones...Buy one.

We have collected buttons over the many years of crafting, but if you don't have any, buy them at Walmart in those packages that cost $1.78 for 130 buttons. JoAnns has them on sale once in a while for 1/2 off...Buy some.

We used pins with pearl heads or ones with different colors. Buy these at Walmart, where they are cheaper. JoAnns has a good selection too...Buy some of these also.

Take a pin and poke it through a hole in a button. You can stack buttons is you like. If you have young children, they like to see how many buttons you can get on a pin. Stick it in the cone, makeing sure to point the needle down, so that it doesn't poke through the other side.

Waalaa...you have a button tree.

Now if you ever need a button, you will have to dig through your Christmas decorations to find one.

Sledding

With the weather in Spokane in the 20's and snow on the ground, what else is there to do but go sledding. Although, I didn't do any, Brinley and Cody took over the sled. I just ran up and down the hill to help them get the sled back to the top.

Here is my little popsicle.