what did we do for Thanksgiving, you ask?

My day before Thanksgiving was spent with the flu. It wasn't fun. I don't recall the last time I was that sick. Luckily, Julie and Becca were around to do the prep work for Thanksgiving and I just laid on the couch and got up every few hours to nurse the baby.
Thanksgiving morning I was feeling much, much better and Sarah even let me get a little sleep through the night.

With a bunch of cousins in town, Brinley was in heaven and I haven't seen much of her. She has been spending the nights with them and having a blast.

So, with me feeling better and family in town, the Thanksgiving Day festivities began with me picking up the turkey from Longhorn Barbecue. I will just say that it is so nice to have someone else cook (smoke, in our case) the turkey and leave the oven open for other things to be baked. By the way, the turkey was DELICIOUS and I think it should become a tradition...

Then Matt and I took Sarah out to Olivia's grave for the first time. Actually, she's been out there, but sat in the car with Matt while I visited her site. It was a little...okay, a lot...emotional for me. I guess because when I saw Sarah there, it just brought back a flood of memories from a year ago and the thoughts of where Olivia would have been if she were here.

Since my Mom is staying with my sister, Corinne, until she has her baby and my dad worked Thanksgiving day, we crashed at their house, because it can fit everybody, and made button trees again this year...Do you have any idea what 10,000 buttons looks like? Well, it's a lot and no that wasn't a typo, i really meant 10,000 buttons.It was fun. We also played a little RockBand again, until my dad came home. He doesn't particularly like that game. It's a bit noisy.

We also spent a good chunk of time going through ads for early morning shopping. That's right, we are some of those crazy people that get up at 4am to go shopping with the 8 million other crazy people just to get a good deal. And I took Sarah with me...she was perfect and I bundled her up for the 23 degree weather. I actually ran into quite a few new babies with their moms while shopping. I say" If your going to be up with the baby at 4am anyway, why not go shopping."

When we got home, it started to snow and has been snowing all day...it was perfect for the start of the Christmas season. I got my Christmas decorations out and will work on the outdoor lights tomorrow. Since Matt had to work today, we are going to wait til tonight to decorate the tree. It should be fun.

thank you Merv for watching all the kids so that Julie, Brian and Becca and I could go shopping. And sorry, Julie, for giving you the flu...

happy thanksgiving

sleep deprived

please forgive me for not posting as often as before...my brain remembers only things like...well, nothing. It's pretty blank up there.

Sarah still has her nights and days mixed up. I don't always get a chance to take a nap, however, today I did (thank you PBS kids).

This week is filled with Brinley's school, food shopping, family in town, cooking, baking, crafting, Christmas shopping and sleepless nights. I am sure that I might be able to catch a nap in there somewhere with family in town.

Matt's birthday was yesterday. Did we do anything? Nope. We didn't even make it to church. (I finally fell asleep at about 6:30am) I feel as if I am becoming inactive. I can't see that it is going to be any better in December. My intentions are good, but I really think Brinley should be at Primary on Sunday.

Things that did get done:

We threw my sister, Kami, a birthday party at my parents house. I'm glad my dad enjoys having us come over so that we can make a mess of his house instead of ours. I made navajo tacos and brownies, while Julie provided the ice cream, whipped cream and exploding hot fudge. Kami brought over RockBand...such a fun game. I got to sing a few songs, off tune, of course. (Our family was NOT blessed with music skills...absolutely zero!) We had a blast though. I know this is like the third time you've seen a photo like this, but literally, this is what Brinley loves to do with Sarah...just hold her and give her the binky.
Our lawn is free of leaves.Thank you to the nice man/student that stopped by our house and asked if he could clean our yard...YES! YES YOU CAN! (did I sound a little too excited about the thought of having a clean yard?) He raked our billion leaves from our yard and it was worth every penny! I can't believe it only took him 4 hours to get it done.

Cody was staying with us and LOVED playing in the piles. The man was very nice about letting the kids play in the piles of leaves.

Brinley did not want me to take her picture, but I wanted to show you her loveley outfit that she picked out herself. My personal favorite thing about this particular outfit, the skeleton gloves.

grandpa pants

All she needs is a pair of suspenders.

snow baby

it's getting cold here in Spokane. Sarah LOVES her snow suit.

Sarah's favorite things...

her thumbs...and her swing. This is what Brinley did when I asked her to put her toys awayAnd this is her self portrait.

(please excuse my messy house in the background.)

baby arah

I found some pictures of me as a baby. I think we found out who Sarah looks like. She just has more hair.

The couch is real nice...I think I spotted one like it in a thrift shop.

milk crumbs.

first week

This first week has been bittersweet. I have been busy being a mom. I forgot how time consuming it is to have a new baby in the home. It takes 3 times as long to get anything done. To leave the house is a huge chore in itself.

Sarah has been the sweetest baby. She is just a joy. Can you believe the hair on this kid? LOVE IT!
We have had many doctors appointments (with lots of foot pokes) due to jaundice, but lucky enough to not have to go to the hospital overnight. With the Fall weather we had all this week, there was NO sun. Thanks to my SIL, Ami, we were able to borrow an OTT light. Sarah was happy to "sun bathe" for a few hours. It helped and she is looking a lot less yellow.

If Brinley could, she would be holding Sarah all day long. She loves to just watch her and the funny faces she makes. She tells her all the time that she is a wiggle worm.

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As for Olivia's birthday, we weren't able to really do anything until today, with Matt's schedule. Matt went to church while I stayed home with a sick Brinley. I was able to get a little nap in too, while Brinley watched some PBS kids. Sarah just slept.

We took a huge amount of apples from my parents tree with us, probably close to 40. Brinley fell asleep in the car, so Matt waited with the girls while i took my time with Olivia. As I walked through the cemetery and came into the new section, I noticed that someone had visited Olivia on her birthday...Thank You!...there were some balloons there. I just started crying. I felt a little guilty for not being able to make it on her birthday, but I was so glad that someone else was there. I noticed the deer had been there again. Brinley and I left squash last time we came up. There were hoof prints all over. I am sure there are some happy deer tonight with all the apples we left. I realized while standing there that a year ago today, we buried her and that just made me cry even more. I still can't believe it's been a whole year.

We took a drive and then went out for a birthday dinner. It was so nice to spend time with just our little family. Brinley and I had a discussion about what we thought heaven looked like and then she pointed out Olivia's cloud to us. I am so proud of that girl. She just amazes me with the things she says and does.

We are finally going to get the headstone. I got to design it. It's very simple, with Olivia's name and dates. It will also have the actual size of her foot prints on it. We may still add a quote, but I don't know. It's going to be on a blackish granite. It will be nice to finally have it done and put in place. The little marker makes it seem so impersonal.

This week has a lot less going on. Maybe I'll be able to get some sleep.

small obsession.

how could we not be?

She is the most easy going, sweetest baby and she slept long enough for me to function the next day.

Brinley LOVES her. She is the binky patrol and gets to pick out her outfit everyday.

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Yesterday was hard, but we got through it. Our plans kinda went down the drain with the weather, so we are looking at doing something on Saturday. Matt was going to try and leave from work early, but couldn't. I apologize for not answering my phone, you would have heard nothing but blubbering and probably wouldn't have understood anything I said anyway. And to top it all off, my milk came in and I was in a little pain. Thank you Lindsey for having Brinley over ALL afternoon, that wasn't the plan, but she loved it.

However, we did get cupcakes made last night...

and they were delicious.

Dear sweet Olivia,

Today would be your first birthday. I can't even begin to describe the emotions that run through me right now as I hold your "little" sister, Sarah, in my arms...just three days old. As Sarah woke me up this morning, I got a look at the clock, it was 12:24am. You were born at 12:27am. I have a feeling that you may have been apart of that. I can imagine that you and your sister are close and you are with her often.

The last few days have been a blur of baby Sarah, doctors, visitors, running a few errands and no sleep. I woke up this morning in tears. I can imagine that some of it has to do with hormones. We have plans for today, but I am not sure how much of it we will actually do.

Brinley wants to make you cupcakes. (This I think I can handle)

We want to take flowers and apples to your graveside. ( I'm not sure that we are going to make it out there today, it's rainy and cold and I really don't want to get Sarah sick)

Brinely wants to draw you some pictures. (Not a problem)

Pay for your headstone and hopefully have it installed in the next few weeks. (only if the place is open today)

I woke up at 5am and started to go through pictures of you, crying the entire time. You and Sarah have the same nose, the cheeks belong to all three of you and Sarah got my forehead, but you and Brinley both got your aunt Julie's. As I look at Sarah, I am reminded of all the things I missed with you in those first few days. The hardest thing was hearing Sarah cry for the first time...you never made a sound.

I am amazed at what your short life has done for our family. All of the things that you have made possible for us because you aren't here...the people we have met and become great friends with, the lessons of life we learned, hands on, and the test of faith on our family. Brinley talks about you daily, about what you are doing in heaven, if you have wings and if you have your own cloud, among other things. She misses you...the other day we read a book together called "We Were Going To Have A Baby, But We Had An Angel Instead", as we read, I could see tears in her eyes. She really does miss you.

Your daddy has to work today. I know your in his thoughts. He is a very emotional man, and talking about you is hard for him. We talked about how 2008 was going to be our year. We didn't expect it turn out so well.

I know this next year will be full of more milestones and such as we watch Sarah go through her first year, almost exactly as you would have.

We know you watch over us. We love you and miss you, sweet angel.

Love

Dad, Mom, Brinley and Sarah

we are home.

Our little family is completely infatuated with this little girl. She is amazing. The delivery went well. Sarah had a rough start...her shoulder got stuck and she had to have some oxygen to get her lungs going...but is happy and content and, overall, a pretty mellow baby. Brinley has been the best big helper and just won't leave her side. She is doing GREAT and hasn't yet felt left out, although, her aunt Julie said she was a bit emotional about everything while staying at her house.

We got home yesterday afternoon. Sarah slept most of it and was awake all night with a tummy ache...I am trying to figure out what I ate. So, no sleep for the momma.
I will post more later today.
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Thank you for all the wonderful comments that everyone left us. We are so greatful for the friends and family we have.

introducing sarah mae:

sarah mae arrived at 1:34 pm this afternoon!

7lb 12 oz 21 inches

and all of the heart burn paid off cause she has TONS of hair. :)
so far, her favorite activties include being incredibly mellow, kicking out her adorable legs and feet and eating. a lot. her mommy will tell you all about her when she gets home.

love, aunt julie.