first week

This first week has been bittersweet. I have been busy being a mom. I forgot how time consuming it is to have a new baby in the home. It takes 3 times as long to get anything done. To leave the house is a huge chore in itself.

Sarah has been the sweetest baby. She is just a joy. Can you believe the hair on this kid? LOVE IT!
We have had many doctors appointments (with lots of foot pokes) due to jaundice, but lucky enough to not have to go to the hospital overnight. With the Fall weather we had all this week, there was NO sun. Thanks to my SIL, Ami, we were able to borrow an OTT light. Sarah was happy to "sun bathe" for a few hours. It helped and she is looking a lot less yellow.

If Brinley could, she would be holding Sarah all day long. She loves to just watch her and the funny faces she makes. She tells her all the time that she is a wiggle worm.

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As for Olivia's birthday, we weren't able to really do anything until today, with Matt's schedule. Matt went to church while I stayed home with a sick Brinley. I was able to get a little nap in too, while Brinley watched some PBS kids. Sarah just slept.

We took a huge amount of apples from my parents tree with us, probably close to 40. Brinley fell asleep in the car, so Matt waited with the girls while i took my time with Olivia. As I walked through the cemetery and came into the new section, I noticed that someone had visited Olivia on her birthday...Thank You!...there were some balloons there. I just started crying. I felt a little guilty for not being able to make it on her birthday, but I was so glad that someone else was there. I noticed the deer had been there again. Brinley and I left squash last time we came up. There were hoof prints all over. I am sure there are some happy deer tonight with all the apples we left. I realized while standing there that a year ago today, we buried her and that just made me cry even more. I still can't believe it's been a whole year.

We took a drive and then went out for a birthday dinner. It was so nice to spend time with just our little family. Brinley and I had a discussion about what we thought heaven looked like and then she pointed out Olivia's cloud to us. I am so proud of that girl. She just amazes me with the things she says and does.

We are finally going to get the headstone. I got to design it. It's very simple, with Olivia's name and dates. It will also have the actual size of her foot prints on it. We may still add a quote, but I don't know. It's going to be on a blackish granite. It will be nice to finally have it done and put in place. The little marker makes it seem so impersonal.

This week has a lot less going on. Maybe I'll be able to get some sleep.

small obsession.

how could we not be?

She is the most easy going, sweetest baby and she slept long enough for me to function the next day.

Brinley LOVES her. She is the binky patrol and gets to pick out her outfit everyday.

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Yesterday was hard, but we got through it. Our plans kinda went down the drain with the weather, so we are looking at doing something on Saturday. Matt was going to try and leave from work early, but couldn't. I apologize for not answering my phone, you would have heard nothing but blubbering and probably wouldn't have understood anything I said anyway. And to top it all off, my milk came in and I was in a little pain. Thank you Lindsey for having Brinley over ALL afternoon, that wasn't the plan, but she loved it.

However, we did get cupcakes made last night...

and they were delicious.

Dear sweet Olivia,

Today would be your first birthday. I can't even begin to describe the emotions that run through me right now as I hold your "little" sister, Sarah, in my arms...just three days old. As Sarah woke me up this morning, I got a look at the clock, it was 12:24am. You were born at 12:27am. I have a feeling that you may have been apart of that. I can imagine that you and your sister are close and you are with her often.

The last few days have been a blur of baby Sarah, doctors, visitors, running a few errands and no sleep. I woke up this morning in tears. I can imagine that some of it has to do with hormones. We have plans for today, but I am not sure how much of it we will actually do.

Brinley wants to make you cupcakes. (This I think I can handle)

We want to take flowers and apples to your graveside. ( I'm not sure that we are going to make it out there today, it's rainy and cold and I really don't want to get Sarah sick)

Brinely wants to draw you some pictures. (Not a problem)

Pay for your headstone and hopefully have it installed in the next few weeks. (only if the place is open today)

I woke up at 5am and started to go through pictures of you, crying the entire time. You and Sarah have the same nose, the cheeks belong to all three of you and Sarah got my forehead, but you and Brinley both got your aunt Julie's. As I look at Sarah, I am reminded of all the things I missed with you in those first few days. The hardest thing was hearing Sarah cry for the first time...you never made a sound.

I am amazed at what your short life has done for our family. All of the things that you have made possible for us because you aren't here...the people we have met and become great friends with, the lessons of life we learned, hands on, and the test of faith on our family. Brinley talks about you daily, about what you are doing in heaven, if you have wings and if you have your own cloud, among other things. She misses you...the other day we read a book together called "We Were Going To Have A Baby, But We Had An Angel Instead", as we read, I could see tears in her eyes. She really does miss you.

Your daddy has to work today. I know your in his thoughts. He is a very emotional man, and talking about you is hard for him. We talked about how 2008 was going to be our year. We didn't expect it turn out so well.

I know this next year will be full of more milestones and such as we watch Sarah go through her first year, almost exactly as you would have.

We know you watch over us. We love you and miss you, sweet angel.

Love

Dad, Mom, Brinley and Sarah

we are home.

Our little family is completely infatuated with this little girl. She is amazing. The delivery went well. Sarah had a rough start...her shoulder got stuck and she had to have some oxygen to get her lungs going...but is happy and content and, overall, a pretty mellow baby. Brinley has been the best big helper and just won't leave her side. She is doing GREAT and hasn't yet felt left out, although, her aunt Julie said she was a bit emotional about everything while staying at her house.

We got home yesterday afternoon. Sarah slept most of it and was awake all night with a tummy ache...I am trying to figure out what I ate. So, no sleep for the momma.
I will post more later today.
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Thank you for all the wonderful comments that everyone left us. We are so greatful for the friends and family we have.

introducing sarah mae:

sarah mae arrived at 1:34 pm this afternoon!

7lb 12 oz 21 inches

and all of the heart burn paid off cause she has TONS of hair. :)
so far, her favorite activties include being incredibly mellow, kicking out her adorable legs and feet and eating. a lot. her mommy will tell you all about her when she gets home.

love, aunt julie.

here we go...

It's 8pm and we still have a few hours to kill before heading to the hospital. Matt just got home from the CricKet store and is just eating dinner. I think I am too nervous to eat and would throw it up if I tried. I think I may sneak in some graham crackers for later, along with a Zantac.

I have had some really strong contractions, just not consistent. If I have dialated more, and other changes, they may just break my water and let me go on my own, without inducing...that would be ideal.

Brinley is having a BLAST at Aunt Ami's house. Jesse is even playing Polly Pocket with her. (thanks Jess, I know how much you hate playing "dolls") Brinley is SO excited about tomorrow and she even picked out a dress to wear to the hospital, saying, "Sarah Mae would love to see me in a dress, don't you think?" She also said that I couldn't be as excited as she is...I don't know about that.

I thought about getting a nap in before we leave, but how can I sleep at a time like this...it's like Christmas Eve...who sleeps?

If she happens to come tomorrow afternoon, when no one has won the gift card, i am going to put all of your names in a bowl and let Brinley draw the winner. So, it's like all of you getting a second chance.

oh, and

HaPPy bIrtHdAy QuInN!

love, Sarah Mae

I love free stuff!

Yesterday I got a phone call from my SIL, Lori, that a radio station was going to be at their business, Homescapes, and that if I got there in time I could get free tickets to the see Madagascar 2 at the IMAX.

I got 4 tickets. So I am taking Brinley and Cody and my mom is coming to help out with the kidlings so that Julie can go to a class on how to work her new camera. The husbands, Matt and Merv, are either still at work or at school.

Should be fun.

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Tomorrow is a day of getting my house clean, baby stuff ready, my bag packed, Brinley's bag packed (she is staying at her aunt Ami's house this weekend), an NST, an ultrasound, the car seat ready to go and then off to the hospital for a baby.

It's getting exciting, knowing that we WILL have a baby this weekend...AHHHHH!

If I have your cell #, expect a text from Matt when she gets here.

want a new printer?

Simplemom is giving away a new Epson 800. Go check ot out. You get three chances to win. It ends Wednesday November 12th. Good luck!

manito and dr.appointment.

Since I haven't posted many pictures in the past few posts, here are a few for your viewing pleasure.

I absolutely LOVE Manito Park and have been there 3 times in the past week.

And on to other things... here is what Brinley decided on for Halloween. It's a costume from last year. The kids were allowed to wear their costumes to school where they had a Halloween party, played games and watched the Charlie Brown cartoon. Lots of fun!
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I had a doctor appointment this morning, HOPING for some good news...no such luck. I am dialated to a 2.5 and that is about it. If she doesn't come before Friday, I am being induced. It's in writing even... makes it kinda exciting, KNOWING that this little stinker will be here THIS WEEK!

I have been disappointed that with all the walking, massaging and everything else I have tried to get Sarah to come out have just not been working. I have a feeling that she will be one fat, roly-poly, chubby baby. And I am pretty sure she will be close to 9lbs or more, which if you combined both Brinley's (6 lbs. 6 oz.) and Olivia's (3 lbs. 9 oz.) weight together, it would be just short 10lbs. ************
*Olivia's birthday is one week from tomorrow. I can't believe it has almost been a year. We have some plans, but I will post about that next week.
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THANK YOU
to everyone that has brought us and are bringing us dinner. I have been so tired at night and those dinners have helped. Also for the frozen dinners, they will be a HUGE relief for me when Sarah gets here.

false labor

Friday night, I took Brinley to a carnival at her school. Julie, Merv and Cody went with us. We palyed lots of games and had lots of fun.

I started having some really strong contractions and had Julie take Brinley with her while I went to meet Matt to take me to the hospital (I have had really quick labors in the past). Things were going pretty good until I got there and then they died down. Matt and I spent 3 hours or so there while I was monitored. Things fizzled out and I went home.

I spent today walking around Walmart, Costco and the mall, trying to get some results. NOTHING! AHHHHH!!!

Sarah is just comfy an cozy in there. Matt says shes picking out furniture and looking over paint swatches.

I have noticed that she has dropped quite a bit...good sign...and I can breath a little easier. Is election day considered a holiday?