If you would like to see more pictures, please click on Pixler family.
For those of you that would rather email me, my address is kunzfamily@hotmail.com
Monday, November 12, 2007
Olivia Kamille Kunz
Not long after posting my last blog, I went into labor. The contractions came on suddenly and fast! After timing them for one hour, they went from 20 minutes apart, to 8, to 7, then 4, 4, 4...we made it to the hospital just in time for me to deliver Olivia less than 15 minutes later. She came after just two pushes. It was a fast delivery for me and no time for an epidural or to change into a hospital gown, for that matter. I will also mention that it was a holiday...Veteran's Day. If you recall, I do these kinds of things on holidays.
Olivia Kamille Kunz
Olivia Kamille Kunz born 11/11/07
12:27 am
3 lbs. 9.1 oz.
16 inches
She has lots of dark hair and chubby cheeks, just like Brinley. We were able to spend 1 hour and 53 minutes with her before she passed away at 2:20am. She never opened her eyes, but she did turn to me when she heard my voice and she grabbed my finger. She had a lot of family there, including her sister, Brinley, both sets of granparents, her aunt Julie, cousin Cody, uncle Merv, aunt Kami, uncle Jared, and aunt Ami.
We were able to have her in our room the entire time , give her a bath and dress her.
Her funeral will be held this Friday, Nov. 16th at 10am at the Foothills chapel.
I will post more throughout the week.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Happy Anniversary
It's really sad when you have an anniversary and we both forget...Matt and I were sealed six years ago today.
I was out running around with my mom and Matt was at school. I didn't even realize the date or anything, I called Matt in the middle of class and reminded him. We both laughed and that was the extent of our celebrating. Boy, we live an exciting life...we will be celebrating 8 years of marriage on Dec. 1oth...not like we have had anything else on our minds.
My mom and I took Cody and Brinley to Cabela's today. That is a really cool place, I recommend taking your kids there just to look at all the animals they have. It's amazing. You can learn a lot in a store like that. Maybe wait a week when the grand opening has died down and your able to maneuver a cart and not run over any one's heels...thanks mom!
I have been having horrible Braxton-hicks contractions...with pain, but seem to be getting around okay. It does not help when trying to sleep though. But you gotta love taking a long, warm bath to relax the body. Ahhhh.
I was out running around with my mom and Matt was at school. I didn't even realize the date or anything, I called Matt in the middle of class and reminded him. We both laughed and that was the extent of our celebrating. Boy, we live an exciting life...we will be celebrating 8 years of marriage on Dec. 1oth...not like we have had anything else on our minds.
My mom and I took Cody and Brinley to Cabela's today. That is a really cool place, I recommend taking your kids there just to look at all the animals they have. It's amazing. You can learn a lot in a store like that. Maybe wait a week when the grand opening has died down and your able to maneuver a cart and not run over any one's heels...thanks mom!
I have been having horrible Braxton-hicks contractions...with pain, but seem to be getting around okay. It does not help when trying to sleep though. But you gotta love taking a long, warm bath to relax the body. Ahhhh.
Friday, November 9, 2007
37 weeks...
Tomorrow will put me at 37 weeks...I can't believe it, three weeks left, if I make it that far. If I get to next week I will have been pregnant longer than I was with Brinley. It's getting a little hard to think about, but I have been mentally preparing myself for the things to come.
We went to see the Dr. again today. I must have given the baby some caffeine because it's heart rate was at 157 and the last 5 months it's been at 140. It's still breech and will stay that way. The Dr. also said I was getting a bladder infection...fantastic!...I have never had a bladder infection and I don't want anything to do with one.
Brinley gave us a MRSA scare yesterday...just what I needed to deal with with all the other things on my mind. (For those of you who don't live around Spokane, there is a strain of MRSA that is a superbug and has infected about 5 children. There is nothing you can do for it, and you have to take like three baths a day and disinfect EVERYTHING! Even the schools these kids went to had to close for a day to disinfect.) Brinley has a spider bite-like sore on the back of her leg, along with a rash. I didn't think anything of it, it had been there for a few days and I had been putting some rash cream and neosporin on it. Matt had checked online to see what MRSA looked like and sure enough, it looks similar to what she has. So we took her in. We will know Monday what strain it is, the Dr. gave us antibiotics and a cream to put on it, told us to wash our hands often, and to keep it covered. But no concerns for spreading it. YEAH! But man, did it wear me out yesterday to have to deal with that all morning...now a bladder infection...WAAAAA!
To pass my time, a friend of mine, Kim Whalen, ( i know WAY too many Kim's to just go by Kim) dropped by a series of books for me to read. THANK YOU KIM!!! The Twilight series...I am addicted. I'm not sure why you get sucked (hahaha, get it!) into these books. They are great! They are about a family of vampires and a girl who finds out about their secret...actually it's about the girl. I read the first 2 in 4 days, but I know that there are people who have finished all 3 in less time than I have read the first 2. My sister, Corinne, stayed up all night reading one of them. I never thought of her as a book nut, but I guess you learn something everyday. So I would like to ask...
Do you know any good books? Leave a comment, please! I need to keep mind busy, and I love to read. I am also a puzzle nut, I am known for finishing puzzles in record time, I love them. If you have a good puzzle sitting around your house (Spokane people) that you have done and wouldn't mind letting me borrow it, that would be awesome too. I promise not to lose any pieces!
We went to see the Dr. again today. I must have given the baby some caffeine because it's heart rate was at 157 and the last 5 months it's been at 140. It's still breech and will stay that way. The Dr. also said I was getting a bladder infection...fantastic!...I have never had a bladder infection and I don't want anything to do with one.
Brinley gave us a MRSA scare yesterday...just what I needed to deal with with all the other things on my mind. (For those of you who don't live around Spokane, there is a strain of MRSA that is a superbug and has infected about 5 children. There is nothing you can do for it, and you have to take like three baths a day and disinfect EVERYTHING! Even the schools these kids went to had to close for a day to disinfect.) Brinley has a spider bite-like sore on the back of her leg, along with a rash. I didn't think anything of it, it had been there for a few days and I had been putting some rash cream and neosporin on it. Matt had checked online to see what MRSA looked like and sure enough, it looks similar to what she has. So we took her in. We will know Monday what strain it is, the Dr. gave us antibiotics and a cream to put on it, told us to wash our hands often, and to keep it covered. But no concerns for spreading it. YEAH! But man, did it wear me out yesterday to have to deal with that all morning...now a bladder infection...WAAAAA!
To pass my time, a friend of mine, Kim Whalen, ( i know WAY too many Kim's to just go by Kim) dropped by a series of books for me to read. THANK YOU KIM!!! The Twilight series...I am addicted. I'm not sure why you get sucked (hahaha, get it!) into these books. They are great! They are about a family of vampires and a girl who finds out about their secret...actually it's about the girl. I read the first 2 in 4 days, but I know that there are people who have finished all 3 in less time than I have read the first 2. My sister, Corinne, stayed up all night reading one of them. I never thought of her as a book nut, but I guess you learn something everyday. So I would like to ask...
Do you know any good books? Leave a comment, please! I need to keep mind busy, and I love to read. I am also a puzzle nut, I am known for finishing puzzles in record time, I love them. If you have a good puzzle sitting around your house (Spokane people) that you have done and wouldn't mind letting me borrow it, that would be awesome too. I promise not to lose any pieces!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
My daughter...
Today was parent teacher confrence. I love when things happen that makes you feel like you did something right when raising your child.
Brinley's teacher, Ms. Kathy, told me that Brinley is a role model! Ahhh! How proud that makes me feel. In a nutshell...she is smart, she listens, she is nice to all the kids, she's helpful and a delight to have in class...what more could a parent want to hear. She said that if she were in kindergarten, she would fit right in, except for the alphabet. I needed some good news in my life.
One thing we need to work on is writing her name, she like to write my name instead...not as many letters. That's my goofball daughter!
Brinley's teacher, Ms. Kathy, told me that Brinley is a role model! Ahhh! How proud that makes me feel. In a nutshell...she is smart, she listens, she is nice to all the kids, she's helpful and a delight to have in class...what more could a parent want to hear. She said that if she were in kindergarten, she would fit right in, except for the alphabet. I needed some good news in my life.
One thing we need to work on is writing her name, she like to write my name instead...not as many letters. That's my goofball daughter!
Counseling
Last night was another counseling session. I thought I was going to get through it without crying, but I got there and listened to others talk about there losses, I just couldn't hold it back. I am glad that Karen was able to go with me. It has been a big relief and comfort to me to be able to have this counseling and to know that I am not alone in how I feel, or what to expect in grieving, and dealing with people who don't understand the loss.
We talked about the Holidays and what to do to remember our babies. It was a good thing almost everyone there is into scrapbooking! I am looking forward to the Holidays because I love being with family. This year might be a little different for us, but I mostly want Brinley to have good memories...and she will probably be a little spoiled this year. The most important thing for her to know is that she is apart of this too. We have done as much as we can to involve her as much as a 4 year old should be.
I was asked a question that doesn't come up too often, but it still gets asked...
Why did you decide to keep going with the pregnancy knowing that the baby would die? First of all, when someone asks me this, it catches me off guard. It's not a question that you expect to hear, especially from people who believe in eternal families and, i would guess, are against abortion. It's not offensive because I understand why they ask. If you knew that your baby was going to die, would you want to go through an entire pregnancy? Do you think it would have made it any less harder to deal with? Second, i feel it is not up to me that a baby should live or die. I put that in Heavenly Father's hands. If this baby has a chance to live but a few minutes, then that is what was meant to be. I cherish every moment I get to spend with this child inside me. It is all I will probably get to remember about this childs life. This baby is not an object, it's a person and part of our little family. I don't know why someone wouldn't want to give their baby a chance.
I do ask that when you know someone going through a similar situation, that this is not a question you ask them. They probably will take it offensively. It's a personal decision, and not one that should be questioned. We all have our own reasons for doing the things we do, and not everyone is going to understand that.
We talked about the Holidays and what to do to remember our babies. It was a good thing almost everyone there is into scrapbooking! I am looking forward to the Holidays because I love being with family. This year might be a little different for us, but I mostly want Brinley to have good memories...and she will probably be a little spoiled this year. The most important thing for her to know is that she is apart of this too. We have done as much as we can to involve her as much as a 4 year old should be.
I was asked a question that doesn't come up too often, but it still gets asked...
Why did you decide to keep going with the pregnancy knowing that the baby would die? First of all, when someone asks me this, it catches me off guard. It's not a question that you expect to hear, especially from people who believe in eternal families and, i would guess, are against abortion. It's not offensive because I understand why they ask. If you knew that your baby was going to die, would you want to go through an entire pregnancy? Do you think it would have made it any less harder to deal with? Second, i feel it is not up to me that a baby should live or die. I put that in Heavenly Father's hands. If this baby has a chance to live but a few minutes, then that is what was meant to be. I cherish every moment I get to spend with this child inside me. It is all I will probably get to remember about this childs life. This baby is not an object, it's a person and part of our little family. I don't know why someone wouldn't want to give their baby a chance.
I do ask that when you know someone going through a similar situation, that this is not a question you ask them. They probably will take it offensively. It's a personal decision, and not one that should be questioned. We all have our own reasons for doing the things we do, and not everyone is going to understand that.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Brinley's quilt
What is there to do while Brinley is at school? Make a quilt. I have two hours a day to work on it. Two months later, I am finally getting it finished. This is the the top of it, without the border. I forgot to take pictures of that, since I just got the border on today.
Close up. It is a pinwheel pattern.
Brinley loves rainbow everything. She picked this fabric out and it will be the back of the quilt. She however, has no idea that i am making this quilt for her. It's a Christmas gift from me...so SHHHHH!Tonight I am going to grief counseling and I am taking my friend, Karen Pixler. Her daughter, Sierra, passed away 4 years ago due to heart problems. She was just 8 weeks old. Karen didn't have any of the support then, like I do now. She has been a great help and support to me through this whole ordeal. Thank you for everything Karen!
family portrait
I love Brinley's drawings. I have a really hard time throwing them away because i love seeing how her drawings change. Above is a family portrait. From the left is: Baby, Me, Matt and Brinley. They look so realistic, don't you think? We have this hanging on our wall, and as Brinley draws more, i keep adding to it. She has a interesting point of view.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Ultrasound and Dr. appointment
Yesterday we went to see Dr. Barrong and to get an ultrasound. I didn't expect much from the ultrasound and they really didn't find anything different from the any previous. We did find out that the baby is tiny, only measuring at 31 weeks, about 3 1/2 lbs. and since I am at 36 weeks... you can figure that out. So what I would like to know is why I gained 65 lbs? My placenta better weigh at least 40...I guess I am just cursed. It sucks! They did find a small pocket of amniotic fluid, and the baby is doing practice breathing, so there may be a small chance that we have a little time with the baby.
Time is really going by fast. We were asked, "What part of the birth are you most afraid of?" How do you answer a question like that when your in our situation. I guess because we know the outcome, we fear the whole thing. We are afraid that the baby will be stillborn, but we are also afraid of watching our baby die in our arms.
I am really tired of being uncomfortable, and I don't want to be pregnant anymore, but I also don't want to not be pregnant and not be able to feel the baby move and know that it is safe inside me. I just need to stop complaining and enjoy every bit of throwing up, the indigestion, the heartburn, the swelling feet, the pains, being uncomfortable, no sleep...because those things won't be what I remember the most. Anywho...
We also found out yesterday that Matt's neice, Betsie, is having twins. I am so excited for her and have always wanted twins. The poor girl will have 4 children under the age of 3, but I guess you are given what you can handle. I am just so very excited for her and Josh. I just wish they didn't live so far away.
Also, thanks Lindsey for having Brinley and I over for dinner last night and letting Brinley play with the kids. I enjoyed the talk and playing with that chubby baby of yours. Matt was jealous...next time he will be there.
Tonight, it's pizza with all of Matt's classmates and their families. Brinley is so excited to see her friend, Kat. I am glad that I don't have to make dinner.
Time is really going by fast. We were asked, "What part of the birth are you most afraid of?" How do you answer a question like that when your in our situation. I guess because we know the outcome, we fear the whole thing. We are afraid that the baby will be stillborn, but we are also afraid of watching our baby die in our arms.
I am really tired of being uncomfortable, and I don't want to be pregnant anymore, but I also don't want to not be pregnant and not be able to feel the baby move and know that it is safe inside me. I just need to stop complaining and enjoy every bit of throwing up, the indigestion, the heartburn, the swelling feet, the pains, being uncomfortable, no sleep...because those things won't be what I remember the most. Anywho...
We also found out yesterday that Matt's neice, Betsie, is having twins. I am so excited for her and have always wanted twins. The poor girl will have 4 children under the age of 3, but I guess you are given what you can handle. I am just so very excited for her and Josh. I just wish they didn't live so far away.
Also, thanks Lindsey for having Brinley and I over for dinner last night and letting Brinley play with the kids. I enjoyed the talk and playing with that chubby baby of yours. Matt was jealous...next time he will be there.
Tonight, it's pizza with all of Matt's classmates and their families. Brinley is so excited to see her friend, Kat. I am glad that I don't have to make dinner.
And I am a....
I blogged a ton about what Brinley was for Halloween, so I decided that maybe you would like to know what I was. Well, thanks to my cousin Raquel's blog (she had put a post up about not knowing what to dress up as for Halloween when you are very pregnant, she is due two weeks before me), she had a lot of comments on what to do with a large belly. I thought there were some great ideas, so I stole one of them. It's homemade, so it's not great, but you get the idea. When we went to Trunk or Treat, Matt was told that "she must have a lot of self confidence to be wearing this costume and be that pregnant". Yeah, but I feel like this, so why not dress as one. so MOO!
These are baby bottle nipples, I am very creative, aren't I? Every kid Brinley's age came up and sqeezed them...some (Karlie) multiply times. They just got a kick out of it. I also had a lot of small children tell me "your a cow!" and laugh.
I hope I don't show up in the ward newsletter.
Oh yeah, our trunk took third place for being decorated, and I can't believe I forgot my camera!!!
These are baby bottle nipples, I am very creative, aren't I? Every kid Brinley's age came up and sqeezed them...some (Karlie) multiply times. They just got a kick out of it. I also had a lot of small children tell me "your a cow!" and laugh.
I hope I don't show up in the ward newsletter.
Oh yeah, our trunk took third place for being decorated, and I can't believe I forgot my camera!!!
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