Thursday, December 6, 2007

Support Group

Tuesday night I went to Support Group for those who lost an infant. I used to call it Grief counseling, but it's not counseling. We are there to support each other and talk about whatever we want to. Everyone there understands every situation you face, whether it's dealing with strangers or trying to grieve and yet being a parent at the same time.

My Mom came with me this time, she cried for both of us. I was amazed at myself, I didn't cry...total shocker. Maybe it was just the day, I don't know. I asked my Mom if it had helped at all, she said that it was a big relief for her to be able to talk to other Grandmothers and they understood what she was dealing with. I forget sometimes that not only is my Mom trying to be my support but she is grieving for me as well as her grand daughter. I guess everyone is, but when your my Mom...she never has been one to think about herself and is always trying to please everyone else and make sure that her family is happy.

My Mom grew up thinking that she'll have kids, they'll have kids...no problem. she had never experienced a loss. Then I came along and with 5 miscarriages and a death of a child later, my sweet little Mother has no idea what to do for me. If you haven't experienced it youreslf, then you have no idea of knowing, you can always guess, but you'll never truely know. So, she tells me that I am her support, and that I get her through her rough days. I couldn't have a more wonderful Mother, she's a goofball and a little scatter brained, but I love her. If you know my Mom, then you know why I am such a nut case.

7 comments:

kim said...

I have thought about that. In my case it was my mom worrying about her girls as they lost their dad, but she still had the grief of losing her best friend, her everything. I can't imagine as a mother watching my child go through something so painful. Not knowing what to do, knowing there isn't much you can do at this moment, just love them. I am glad you took your mom to support group. I'm sure it was good for both of you and something you can always share.

Wendy said...

It sounds like you have such a sweet mom. I've realized that thats the case with all trials, no one can really comprehend it until they go through it themselves. SO its so nice that you have a support group that totally gets it and everything that you go through.

janet said...

what a bonding experience for you and your mom. I am sure it was good for her to talk about things too. I am so glad you live close to your family and that they can be there for you!

Josh and Betsie said...

Oh I just love your mom. She is such a cute sweet lady. I smile everytime I see her. You have a wonderful mom and you are a wonderful mom. You must have learned it from her.

kim said...

I just got back from getting the mail. I LOVE your card. Such a precious and beautiful pictures of your girls. Thanks for including Olivia's program. Once again, you made me weep!! I love you!

birdeeb said...

I agree with Kim...I wept when I saw that sweet Christmas card! Thank you for that. I went to an Enrichment Night with my mother-in-law (her ward) and they had people sharing traditions & singing for us...then the lady who put it together had her sister talk to us about losing 4 out of 8 kids to death. I cried big time like the rest of the room & her explanation was so clear to me! She said she had given birth to a 10 1/2 lb baby once without drugs...she said that losing your child hurts so much more then that. She had a 2 1/2 year old die from being run over...and she had teens die on their way to school on a snowy/icy day...their car slid into a pond. She said just hold onto Christ...stay faithful & He pulls you through because he has felt that hurt before. She said she still hurts for her loss, but because she has the knowledge of Him she is comforted in her darkest times. It was just amazing & I wish that every mother was there to hear it. I appreciate you mothers sharing your experiences! I know it helps me to be thankful for what I have ;o).

Rocia said...

I love aunt Lana! I received your Christmas card today, Arah. What a precious little picture. I cried and smiled and cried, etc. Please come visit the city while we are here! You have a FREE place to stay!