july 13

I ran errands today. While driving around the girls watched a movie and it gave me a few minutes to myself. Memories came back to me about when we went to Olivia's ultrasound...

I had remembered to grab a DVD to record the ultrasound. We were going to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. My mom came with Matt and I. I can't remember who was watching Brinley. We walked into the ultrasound room, I handed the disc over to the tech. We got settled in and she started scanning my belly. Things got quiet and we knew something wasn't right. We heard the words "I see cysts on the kidneys, I'm going to take a few more scans and then I'll bring the doctor back in."

I saw my babies heartbeat. I saw that my baby was moving. What did it mean to have cysts on the kidneys? We waited for what seemed like hours. The doctor came in and scanned some more. The diagnosis was polycystic kidney disease, but he wanted to be sure and we were to be sent to a specialist the next day when we would hear the words, "your baby is incompatible with life." I didn't cry at first. I think I was in shock. Then I looked at Matt and I broke down. I think I was reviewing the words in my head. over and over.

We started getting phone calls, poeple excited to know what we were having. I didn't want to talk to anybody. And how was I going to answer, "we are going to have a baby who will die"? Who wants to tell poeple that?

That was 4 years ago today...

It's strange how our minds remember those 'special' dates, way back in our minds, and bring them up when we conciously don't remember them. And the details we remember, when I can't even remember parts of yesterday.

As for the DVD, she gave it back to us. blank.

award

Today I received the Providence Health Care Exemplary Performance Award from Providence Sacred Heart Hospital where I volunteer. I had my picture taken with some pretty prestigious folks, like the vice President of Sacred Heart and the Head of the Board of Directors, along with a few others whom title's escape my memory (ahhhh!). It was quite an honor just to be nominated for this award (thank you Heather) and I truly can't tell you how very touched I was at what was said about me and about the work that I do. (for now, my award is posted just next to my computer until I get it framed. And they gave me a title of RNC... how very generous of them :) )

I have had thoughts of quitting and just letting some one else take it all on, and its funny how when I start to have these thoughts, there is a greater need. And it's then I realize that this was something I was meant to be doing and that Olivia taught me much more than I ever imagined.

I grew up wanting to be a doctor, working with children. In high school I found a love for photography. In a crazy beautiful way, I got to fulfill both dreams.

summer list 2011

This year we sat down and made a list of all the things we want to do this summer. We have about 100 things written on the chalk board. We have kept busy marking off the things we want to do. One of those things was to watch the laser light show at Grand Coulee Dam. Julie and Merv decided to join us. We left after church on Sunday and stopped and had a picnic at the city park in Davenport. I think its some of the oldest playground equipment I've seen in a long time. Keeping Sarah and Lola off of it was a pain.

We got to Grand Coulee Dam around 4pm. The show didn't start until 10pm. We had 6 hours of keeping the kids busy. We bought some of the worst snow cones ever! We played with our snacks.

The kids made faces at the camera.We walked throught the 10 booths that were set up for the 'Festival of America' about 5 times.

Sarah was cranky about 1/2 the time.

We tried to pull the babies arms out of their sockets by swinging them around (not really).

Matt hung out under a tree and enjoyed not being at work and tried to take a nap.

By the time the laser show started, the babies were exhausted and fell asleep. Cody and Brinley had their eyes glued to the show and the rest of us made comments about how really out of date it was. However, we learned some really intersting history about the dam.

I can now say that after living in Spokane for 15 years, I have finally seen the laser light show at Grand Coulee.