NILMDTS

I have had some of you mention that you can't find the pictures and stories on Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep's website. So here are the directions to get there:

Enter Website.

Click on "Our Work".

At the top of the page you will see "image gallery". click on it.

Olivia's picture is there along with many other children. You can read shortened versions of their stories.

Christmas Crafts

I have nothing better to do than to sit around and make stuff...yeah right. I do like to make things though, so this year my mom, Julie and made a few things. I am always making something...no surprise there. Actually, I made this by myself. I had an extra frame and lots of scrapbook paper and bits of ribbon and ....waalaa, you have yourself a cute Christmas sign.

This is to display your Christmas cards. Really, really easy to make. Yardstick, clothespins, paint and ribbon. You can use it vertically or horizontally. Sorry, my pictures really don't do it justice. It really is cute.

My Grandma Esther had one of these since I can remember, so I know it's a really old ceramic mold. Well, my siblings and I have always loved this candy dish and have wanted Grandmas. Last year my Mom found the mold and we had one made for each of us. We didn't get around to painting them until this year. I love this candy dish because it has so many memories attatched to it. I tried to paint it to make it look just like hers.

Movie Review

Last night Brinley and I were invited to a Girls Night Out with our friends, Lindsey and Chloe Gardener. So we went to see Enchanted...If you are a girly-girl and love fairytales, you will love this movie. It was so funny and cute. Disney made fun of itself, which is great. New York's wild "animals" help clean an apartment, and you just laugh so hard, and also think "disgusting" at the same time. Great movie to take your girls to.
Now, if your an adult and want to see a good movie, Dan in real life is great. I recommend this one. I love the soundtrack too (Hint, Hint Matt). You'll laugh and feel sorry for this guy. It's a pretty clean movie overall. A Romantic-Comedy that even your husband will like. Matt picked it.

Snow Day

This is what we woke up to yesterday morning....SNOW! I love the snow. We also watch a lot of accidents this time of year right our our front window. In fact, Monday night we watched a car being towed out of the ditch across the street and the tow truck driver locked his keys inside his truck, blocking 3 lanes of traffic. Not a good thing when you live on Argonne and there are lots of semi-trucks that have a hard time slowing down. Front yard above...back yard below.

Your address please

Ok. If you would like a Christmas card from us this year, please send me your home address to my email at kunzfamily@hotmail.com I would very much appreciate it. Thank you!

Thanksgiving Weekend

Thursday: Thanksgiving was spent at my parents house. Julie, Merv, Cody, Uncle Gary, Kerri, Kami were all there. It was actually a quiet year, and I was alright with that. What did we do all day?...

My cute mother cooking up some delicious bird.

Matt watching some TV. I think just about every picture I got of him, he was sitting here.

I love puzzles and just about every holiday we bust one out and I finished it, with a little help.

We made button trees. Julie found these on Ali Edwards blog (www.aliedwards.typepad.com) If you like to scrapbook or craft, you will love her blog. It kept the kids busy all day long! Please excuse my daughter in her underwear, she doesn't like to wear pants.

Since my mom was cooking, I finished hers. They take forever to do, but they turned out really cute. My sister, Julie, below.

Kami brought her Wii Guitar. Merv was rockin' out to some great tunes...

Friday: Black Friday. Every year my mom and sisters, Becca and Julie, get up at the butt-crack of dawn to go shopping. I didn't really need anything since I had already shopped and wrapped most of my Christmas gifts this year...but it's tradition. So at 4 am I was up and going. Julie, who instigates this tradition, didn't even get out of bed until about 10:30am, even after 10 phone calls to get her going.

It was also Matt's birthday. I am a horrible wife and didn't get him anything. I couldn't really think of anything to get him. That is sad. We are going to go out tonight to celebrate, so hopefully that will make up for it.

Every year we also make it over to Coeur d'Alene for the annual parade, fireworks and lighting of the resort. The parade isn't that great so this year we just went for the fireworks. It was about 25 degrees outside and you have to walk about 1 mile to get down to where the festivities take place...with 4 kids in tow. It will be on Good Morning America Wednesday at about 7:30am if anyone is interested in watching. They actually will light fireworks again...at 3:30-4am. I don't think I will be there this time.

This is usually the day I decorate my house for Christmas. So Brinley and I set up our tree and pulled out the ornaments and decorations. For some reason, it just made me really sad...I kept thinking of all the memories I had with Brinley at Christmas time and realized that I won't have those with Olivia. So, I didn't decorate this year like I have in the past...there will be no lights on the outside of my house, I just don't have the energy to do it.

Sunday: Finally...a day of rest. We went to church, as usual. We were a little late...as usual. When we sat down I looked at the program and noticed it was about Thanksgiving. Right away, I began to think about what I would say if I was called up to bear my testimony. Well sure enough, our dear, sweet Bishop noticed we had a few extra minutes after the talks and my name was called. Matt said I was composed and did a great job, but I really don't remember half of what I said. I am just glad I was prepared.

So today, Monday, starts a whole new week. One where there isn't a holiday and there isn't family is in town. One where I have to keep myself busy. So, I went to visit Olivia's grave while Brinley was in school, and had a good cry and great conversation with her. This spring we are going to plant grass and clean up her plot. She has lots of deer come visit. They like her flowers. I think I might take some apples up there next time. I figure that's the least I can do when they keep my little girl company.

We are expecting snow tonight, 2-4 inches. I will believe it when I see it...the weather people here aren't very accurate. Brinley is excited and wants to go sledding immediately! We'll see...

Happy Birthday to my dear Husband...

Happy Birthday Matt! I love you...can't believe that your 38, because that makes me almost 30...WAAAAHHHH!
And since I am on birthdays...Happy Birthday to my sister, Kami, who's birthday was yesterday and to my sister-in-law, Becca, who's birthday is tomorrow. And Happy Birthday to so, so many of my family and Matt's that have a birthday in November ( I think there is something like 11?).

My list of thanks

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and since I don't want to be at my computer all day writing about what and who I am thankful for, I thought I would do it now. So here is my list of thanks...

My little family: Matt, Brinley and Olivia...for all that they have taught me. Matt, for being such a wonderful, hard working, sincere, big bear of a husband. I know that we were meant to be together. Brinley, I couldn't get through my days without you. You are my little Sunshine. You tell the best jokes and you tell me at least twenty times a day that you "surely love me."
Olivia, because I truly have a testimony of the gospel now. I have no doubt that I will see you again. You have made me want to be a better person...mother and wife.

My family: When I say family, I mean everyone I am related to (including the Kunz side). I can't even begin to tell you how supportive and and helpful you have been through the pregnancy and birth and everything that has come since. I don't know where to start with this...you all mean so much to me and all that you have done for me has been amazing. Julie, for taking Brinley so many times that I am sure she needs her own room there. My parents, for your amazing talents in building and sewing and for loving me so much. Matt's parents, for putting up with us living upstairs and for being patient with me on my bad days. Ami, for letting Matt hang out with you and for making us a lot of bread, among other things. All of those who don't live too close, I know you prayed for our family and put our names on so many prayer rolls, that meant so much to us. We know that you love us.

Friends: For all the prayers and love and support...and meals. For wanting to help when I couldn't think of anything for you to do. For helping with Brinley. For GNO's. For having blogs that I could read. For letting me borrow books and puzzles. For knowing that if I needed to call you at 2 in the morning, you wouldn't mind. Karen, for taking pictures, having long talks about our children, and having such an awesome family that is so talented.

Doctors, Nurses, Counselors, Etc.: For being so compassionate. For helping us get through such a hard experience. For knowing what was wrong. For answering so many questions. Heather Roberts, for having such a wonderful program that gave us so much to remember Olivia by and for being there at her birth, the timing couldn't have been better. Your an amazing friend. To Sarah and Sara, for giving me some understanding to my feelings and being able to know what I have to deal with in the next year. Heather Evans, for taking incredible photos of our baby. To Dr. Barrong, who knew what he was doing, for being sympathetic and kind. I will refer people to you!

The Gospel: For knowing that I have an eternal family. For knowing my Heavenly Father loves me. For knowing that Christ gave his life for me so that I can see Olivia again. For being able to teach my daughter about Jesus and seeing her be so excited about "Hamly Foam Evening" (Family Home Evening). For not doubting that Olivia's life had a purpose and was meant to be short with us here on earth and that she is with her Great-Grandparents, her cousin Christian, her friend Sierra and so many others in heaven.

Baths: Need I say more...okay, because of those days where I needed to have time to myself and I locked the bathroom door and I could relax and watch Olivia move and feel like I got to know her a little bit better.

Waterproof Mascara: because I cry...a lot. 'Nuff said.

Millwood School: For Brinley's teachers, Kathy, Jill, Diane, etc., because you have been so good to her. She loves you guys! For teaching Brinley all those new songs and letting her paint and helping her with numbers and letters. For understanding our situation and having a place for her to have fun when I am not so much.

Babies: For those that are pregnant or just had a baby, I am thankful that your babies are healthy. That your pregnancies were/are without difficulty. That you can hold your child close. That you can't sleep at night because they are hungry or need a change, not because you miss them so much. I am thankful you don't have to go through what I am going through...

And so many other things...I just can't write about everything and everyone. Please know that every one of you are on my list of thanks!
I love you all!
Happy Thanksgiving!

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep along with the M.I.S.S. Foundation and Forget Me Not are just amazing. Heather Roberts (Forget Me Not), my nurse while at the hospital, told us about Heather Evans, who is associated with NILMDTS. She is a professional photographer who donates her time and talent to taking bereavement photos for parents like us. They turned out amazing and she couldn't have done a better job. I love them. She made a book for us and also gave us a cd of all the pictures. So here are a few of the beautiful pictures she took of Olivia...

Olivia's funeral

Friday was Olivia's funeral. The service was beautiful. It was perfect. I can't even begin to thank all the people that helped with everything...from the pictures to the music and the luncheon and flowers, and that doesn't count those who were there before Olivia was born, Heather from Forget Me Not, Sara and Sarah from the M.I.S.S. foundation, my doctors and nurses and my family and friends...I have a whole post on thank yous coming. Without you guys, I think this would have been a lot harder to deal with.

For those who could not make it, here are a few pictures of the service.

Our siblings bought the flowers and were sweet enough to remember Brinley. She got her very own bouquet.
Brinley and her Aunt Corinne. (Corinne, thank you so much for helping with Brinley, she just loves you and it was a huge relief to me that she would at least talk to you about Olivia.)
Olivia's beautiful box, thank you mom and dad. It was perfect!
Brinley watching Olivia's box being put into the hearse.Matt carried Olivia to her final resting place. It was really hard for him. This is her headstone until we get a permanent one this Spring.

The hardest part of the whole day is when we went to bed that night thinking about how she is all alone and it is so cold out and all we want to do is be with her and snuggle her and keep her warm. We have cried every night this past week.

It is amazing how much her life has impacted so many people. I have read so many cards and emails and letters telling me how they look at their families and realize how important they are. Time is so short and you never know what will happen. I know I will see my little Olivia again. I know that she is happy and she wants us to be happy also. So if you see me smiling and laughing and making jokes, it's because that is how Olivia would want it. I will always miss her, and I know there will be many, many times when I cry, but I have Brinley to be a mom to also. I can't just push her aside while I deal with my grieving. This week has been really hard on her.

Olivia's dress

I got on a computer that will work for me...finally. Here are the pictures of Olivia's dress and the things that we put in her box. They aren't in any particular order.Front of her dress.Back of her dress. It was open except for a few buttons so that it would be easier to put on her.Her dress measured 24 inches.Her bonnet and booties. They were the perfect size. Below is the blanket Grandma Barbara made. Bracelet and brass plate. The bracelet fit my thumb perfectly.

brass plate. This is similar to what will be on her headstone.

Dolly. Brinley asked that my mom give her a heart.

Olivia's Box

I wanted to write about this last night, but our laptop decided to take a dive and no longer gets internet. The computer I am on now is the slowest thing on earth. So I will post pictures later.
The reason this post is called Olivia's box is because that is what we want Brinley to know it by. She knows that Olivia's box is what we put things in to remember her by. We didn't want her to question that if her body is in the box, how can she be in heaven.
Yesterday we dressed our sweet baby Olivia. She looked beautiful...
My sisters, Corinne and Julie, Matt's sister Ami and our Moms were there with us. My friend, Karen's aunt made the most beautiful dress, hat and booties that couldn't have fit her better. My mom made her a little dolly to snuggle with (she made all of her grandchildren these dolls). Another friend, Kim Whalen, made each of us girls a bracelet so that we all have something to connect us, so Olivia has hers on her right wrist because thats the side I wear mine on. She has a little ceramic heart that that goes in the center of one that I have. Matt's mom made a sweet little blanket. And my Dad had a little brass plaque made for geaneology reasons, in case we need to move her something someday.
I thought it was going to be really, really hard to see her that way, but I know it wasn't Olivia lying there, just her body and she is with her Father in heaven. I think that because I was able to dress her and hold her one more time, the funeral won't be so hard on me. Oh, I know I will cry, but I have so much to be thankful for...especially the time we got to spend with her.
I will have to write a whole posting on who to thank. We have been truly blessed with having wonderful people around us to help with so many things.

Olivia's Funeral

Olivia's funeral will be held at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Foothills Chapel on Friday, Nov. 16th at 10am.
Please know that all are welcome. We know that so many of you have grieved with us and we would like to share our sweet baby with you.

Directions:
From Sullivan: North to Trent, go left to Evergreen, north on Evergreen, through the stop sign and the chapel will be on your right.
From Pines: North to Trent, go right to Evergreen, north on Evergreen, through the stop sign and the chapel is on the right.
From Bigelow Gulch: Take Bigelow Gulch East until you can't go any further. Take a right and follw the road to the Chapel on your left.

If you would like to see more pictures, please click on Pixler family.
For those of you that would rather email me, my address is kunzfamily@hotmail.com

Olivia Kamille Kunz

Not long after posting my last blog, I went into labor. The contractions came on suddenly and fast! After timing them for one hour, they went from 20 minutes apart, to 8, to 7, then 4, 4, 4...we made it to the hospital just in time for me to deliver Olivia less than 15 minutes later. She came after just two pushes. It was a fast delivery for me and no time for an epidural or to change into a hospital gown, for that matter. I will also mention that it was a holiday...Veteran's Day. If you recall, I do these kinds of things on holidays. Olivia Kamille Kunz

born 11/11/07

12:27 am

3 lbs. 9.1 oz.

16 inches

She has lots of dark hair and chubby cheeks, just like Brinley. We were able to spend 1 hour and 53 minutes with her before she passed away at 2:20am. She never opened her eyes, but she did turn to me when she heard my voice and she grabbed my finger. She had a lot of family there, including her sister, Brinley, both sets of granparents, her aunt Julie, cousin Cody, uncle Merv, aunt Kami, uncle Jared, and aunt Ami.

We were able to have her in our room the entire time , give her a bath and dress her.

Her funeral will be held this Friday, Nov. 16th at 10am at the Foothills chapel.

I will post more throughout the week.