I ran errands today. While driving around the girls watched a movie and it gave me a few minutes to myself. Memories came back to me about when we went to Olivia's ultrasound...
I had remembered to grab a DVD to record the ultrasound. We were going to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. My mom came with Matt and I. I can't remember who was watching Brinley. We walked into the ultrasound room, I handed the disc over to the tech. We got settled in and she started scanning my belly. Things got quiet and we knew something wasn't right. We heard the words "I see cysts on the kidneys, I'm going to take a few more scans and then I'll bring the doctor back in."
I saw my babies heartbeat. I saw that my baby was moving. What did it mean to have cysts on the kidneys? We waited for what seemed like hours. The doctor came in and scanned some more. The diagnosis was polycystic kidney disease, but he wanted to be sure and we were to be sent to a specialist the next day when we would hear the words, "your baby is incompatible with life." I didn't cry at first. I think I was in shock. Then I looked at Matt and I broke down. I think I was reviewing the words in my head. over and over.
We started getting phone calls, poeple excited to know what we were having. I didn't want to talk to anybody. And how was I going to answer, "we are going to have a baby who will die"? Who wants to tell poeple that?
That was 4 years ago today...
It's strange how our minds remember those 'special' dates, way back in our minds, and bring them up when we conciously don't remember them. And the details we remember, when I can't even remember parts of yesterday.
As for the DVD, she gave it back to us. blank.